Every year the 4th month of the year rolls around and it’s a sign of fresh flowers, new beginnings, and a new quarter.. For me, it’s a time where I am reminded how many women and some men suffer in silence concerning sexual assault. We often discuss cancer awareness months, but rarely do we ever bring attention to this month here.. April is sexual assault awareness month.. 1 out of every 6th woman you encounter has been raped or has been the victim of an attempted violent sexual assault. This does not include sexual harassment.. I pour my heart out there to those that have been where I’ve been. It’s so easy to hide, walk in shame, feel guilty etc. but I refuse to allow such shame to come anywhere near my timeline! I put this here so you can know you’re NOT the ONLY one.. You are NOT ALONE and if there is NO ONE ELSE THERE FOR YOU – I AM.. I am NOT a victim but a survivor and you are too.. This is almost my 5th year remembering this horrific event, however, every year I am stronger, better, and more whole concerning this area… Life is good for me.. My tiggers are lessened and my mental health is sober.. God is good.. I encourage you to pause, look around and ask yourself if you have any friends that could suffer in silence?? Check on your gal and guy pals.. you’d be surprised how many are silent… Soon I will offer an ebook on how to deal with these people and these situations for overcomes! Stay tuned.. Until then, love your life, be aware, and speak up – your life depends on it..
READ WITH CAUTION: GRAPIC CONTENT. REAL TRANSPARENCY…
On November 26th, 2013 at 9pm, I was taken from behind while grabbing my wallet out of my truck. I was then drug from my vehicle to a smaller car, chocked, hit in the face & raped in the backseat. It was out in the open, while raining, while I was at a convenience store parking lot. During this process, I was in and out of consciousness. I begged him to stop, every time I said it – he pressed more, he squeezed more and the more I lost breath. I felt myself dying, gasping for air and the only thing I could think of was my family, my kids, my life. I had no control, no power, and because I didn’t know this person – I had no idea what he could do to me. I’ll never forget this event
I couldn’t pray, or scream, I simply thought, “God I can’t die like this. I felt a peace and calmness come over me & I relaxed, taking slow breaths. When he finished, he threw me over. I ran as fast as I could to my truck. I drove as fast & as far as I could to a friends house. I didn’t want to go to the hospital because I knew the process would be humiliating. After deep thought, I went because I didn’t want to catch a disease. It was the worst process of my life. Victims are treated horribly.
I was questioned, photographed, poked, had to take 15 pills and after hrs I was released from the hospital. I just wanted to sleep. I ached, I was bruised internally and externally, I felt hideous, I hated every inch of my body and I couldn’t look at myself for months. Life still went on, I was still a Ph.d student, I had just gotten a divorce 1 month ago, and my kids were away from me. I lost friends, family, and all sense of normalcy. Life seemed to be over. But, God had another plan. Many that knew & loved me prayed for me, aided me, supported me, God allowed me to survive, my passions were birthed.
I sought counsel & mental treatments. God healed my scars. A year later, I felt a little normal, 2yrs, I felt like Kyla, and today, I’m as strong as ever. I decided this happened to me – but it’s not who I am. I am not my circumstance: I am my decision. I choose to be happy, to stay true to me. I choose to not be angry or bitter. I choose to live out loud & on purpose!
Life is full of challenges – sometimes were dealt horrible cards but you have to keep moving. Since this horrifying event, I’ve built life over, I’ve healed, I’m whole God has restored me in every area that you could think of. I’m not afraid, paranoid, or walking in fear from this event. I’m not a victim — I’m a survivor. God can and will do the unthinkable in your life if you allow him to do it! I post this to bring awareness to be #SilentNoMore. If you have or knows anyone that’s been assaulted you or they can heal and be normal.
There is life after rape. A good life at that. Trust the process and your journey. Believe me, I call myself the Trauma coach because I’ve survived all things traumatic through the grace of God. I can’t say it’s been easy, but it’s def worth it! It’s not something you get over -it certainly changes you but it doesn’t have to destroy you. We all have wounds, scars, baggage and a story. It’s critical to cherish life because we live in a world where anything can go. I have grown a lot, I’ve changed a lot. My perspective has shifted and I value people, experiences, relationships so much more. I no longer dwell on small things and I’ve learned to let God and people be just that. My life is stress free as much as it can be. I’ve learned to pick my battles and keep my peace. Sometimes we take life for granted… enjoy it. It’s meant to be lived.