On the eve of my 30th birthday, I’m sitting watching despicable me 3 with my daughter and nieces, as my husband sleeps with his legs spread across me. I had an amazing weekend with people who really love me and decide to put me first! I guess I’m supposed to be reflective right?! I am, somewhat. It’s 30…
I’m thinking about my last decade and actually what it looks like to be 30. I’m not sure what 30 will bring, but I know it’s goodness. With every year, something is learned. But learning something and something changing in you from what you’ve learned is vastly different. In me, things have changed. I would say for the better. I’ve learned a lot… I’ve become more selfish with my time and energy. I’ve poured out less and invested in my loved ones more. I’ve accepted people for who they are; even when it hurts. Often, we say we can do this, but in reality, sometimes we spend our days trying to convince or change folks, I learned I can’t. I also learned I can’t save the world nor do I want too. This decade of life has shown me that things don’t ever go as planned, but always as needed. The expectation we have on life is sometimes pointless because when you trust the creator it’s not up to you anyway.
My feelings have been hurt more than I can count, people have disappeared and disappointed me more than maybe I should have allowed and I’ve been guilty of allowing things, people, jobs etc. that I know I shouldn’t have stayed to begin with. I would say that my world has changed more in 365 days than the last 8 years. Maybe it’s because I can comprehend and embrace change more than I desire it. I spent much of the last 7 months super quiet. Not really having a lot to say, I think it’s simply because I learned that my life and others were more so tied to the unspoken things. I plan to break down the lessons my twenties taught me in a book in hopes it’ll help someone else.
I learned that life is all about moments,memories, and experiences. It’s much less about the show and bragging rights. It’s more about choices and less about monetary gain, especially when it’s talked about. Our life could literally be anything we desire… if we weren’t in our own way. I discovered that reinventing yourself is a must and it doesn’t have to follow a formula. I learned there’s really no need to compare or feel jealous in life because there’s always someone who wants what you have. I learned to remove the pressure from my life because if I can’t control it – it really doesn’t exist and won’t bring about change. The level of care I have applies to my immediate and intimate circle.
Everything else is well…. so beat it, I guess. Overall, I learned to go day by day. I learned to love every moment and to really count it all joy. I learned to wait on God and His timing because He’s always perfect. Ultimately, I learned to just be Kyla. Being Kyla is the best job I could have. Being Kyla has its advantages and the perks are better than the cons. So thank you twenties…. thank you for the lessons, pain, moments, happiness, sadness, accomplishments, and more. Cheers to 30!
This decade will be everything and some!